


Closer

by GalileoSunshine



Series: ChikaRikoWeek2018 [3]
Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Firsts, Fluff and Angst, Heart-to-Heart, Jealousy, Light Angst, Love Talks, Watanabe You mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 01:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15159236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalileoSunshine/pseuds/GalileoSunshine
Summary: After Riko witnesses a girl confessing to Chika, feelings of jealousy well up inside her.For Day 6 of ChikaRiko Week, the prompt being Jealousy/Firsts





	Closer

Riko stuck close to the wall, her back against it, clutching her pounding chest. She wanted to peek around the corner, but she knew she shouldn’t, or else she might give herself away. And she definitely couldn’t ruin such a tender and delicate moment.

“Sorry to call you out here…” a girl’s voice sounded out from around the corner. Not Chika’s voice.

“Ah, it’s okay!” Chika answered, nervously. “So um…what did you need?”

Riko mentally shook her head. Chika wasn’t that clueless was she? What else could it be but… _that_?

“Well, I…about you, I…” the other girl’s voice trembled, along with Riko’s shaking hands. Then the girl took a sharp intake of air, and declared, “I like you, Chika-chan! Please go out with me!”

And in that moment Riko felt the world hold its breath, or maybe it was just her. But each moment stretched into hours, each heartbeat of hers pounded in her head and ears like a drum.

She wished she could see Chika’s face, see her _eyes_ , to know how Chika was reacting. What was she thinking, right then? How would she respond? Why _was_ Chika taking so long to respond? The answer should be obvious shouldn’t it? Chika has her, doesn’t she? So why…

As each second passed Riko felt her heart race faster and faster, the fear building in her chest until it felt like it was coming up her throat. And just when it felt like she couldn’t take it any longer, Chika finally spoke.

“I’m sorry.”

Riko felt a gasp of air involuntarily escape her, a sob of relief, and she quickly covered her mouth.

Chika’s voice came back, in a nervous and frantic rush. “But I am flattered, really! That you’d want to date a person like me! But…right now, I’m actually dating someone else, so… I’m sorry.”

“Oh! N-no, that’s ok. Um, I hope you’re happy. Ah! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant–”

“It’s ok! I get it. Thank you, I am happy.”

“Ok…thank you too, for coming. Have a nice day.”

“Yeah, of course. You too.”

Riko heard the sound of the other girl’s footsteps, as they receded away from them, eventually fading from earshot.

Riko wanted to feel bad for the other girl. After working up the courage to confess to someone you like, only for them to reject you…it must be one of the worst feelings in the world. But at the moment, all Riko could feel was a wave of relief overtaking her body. Her legs gave out, and she sank to the ground.

Even that feeling, however, was quickly replaced by something else. Riko felt empty, and hollow, and in that void was something dark and unsightly roiling inside of her. She picked herself off the ground and hurried away, before Chika could find her.

* * *

 

The bus ride home was uncharacteristically quiet. Riko spent most of the time staring out the window, letting her mind wander. Meanwhile Chika fidgeted, feeling all too much the uncomfortable air about them. But rather than avoid it, Chika decided to face the situation.

“Riko-chan, is something wrong?”

Riko took some more time before answering. “No, nothing’s wrong.”

“But something is, isn’t it? You’ve been quiet.”

“You’ve been pretty quiet yourself, Chika-chan.”

“Oh, well,” Chika said and laughed nervously. “Something happened for me today.” Chika wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw Riko’s hand clench.

“Hm,” Riko hummed, still not looking at her.

“C’mon Riko-chan, we’re supposed to be good at this, at talking. So…if I tell you what happened with me, will you tell me what happened with you?”

Riko finally looked her way, but it wasn’t the look she expected. It wasn’t sad, but it wasn’t quite angry. A mix of both. Was she sad that she’s angry? Or angry that she’s sad? And the way if bore into her, it was like she already knew what Chika was going to say. Was she angry at her? That’s not good.

“Okay,” Riko finally replied.

Chika gulped. “So um, a girl from my class…I think you might’ve met her before? Chiemi-chan?”

Riko shook her head.

“Oh, guess not. The new school sure is big, huh?” When Riko didn’t respond at all, Chika continued. “Anyways, today she left a letter in my locker and told me to meet her in the back courtyard. And then she…kinda…confessed to me.”

“I know.”

Chika felt her stomach sink. “You knew!? Did you see it?”

“I heard you two, from around the corner of the building.”

“Oh…” Chika’s mind stopped working. She was grasping at words to say, but she didn’t know what Riko wanted to hear. On one hand, she was confused exactly as to what she did wrong. But the pained look on Riko’s face was all Chika needed, to know that she did _something_ , and that she needed to make amends.

“But if you were there then…you should know what happened! I turned her down.”

“But you took so long to do it!”

Chika started back. “You didn’t think I was going to break up with you and start going out with her, did you?”

“No! Well, maybe a little…”

“I was trying to think of a way to let her down easily! I didn’t want to hurt her.”

“I know, Chika-chan,” Riko sighed, putting her head in her hands. “I know I’m being unfair here. I know you were trying to be nice, and I’m just…feeling jealous for no good reason.” Riko had to force the last words out, and it wrung at Chika’s heart.

“Riko-chan, I thought we were over this.” Chika reached for Riko’s hand, but Riko quickly pulled away, and it was like a stab in her chest. But Chika swallowed down the pain. “You don’t have to be jealous of anyone. You’re amazing and wonderful and beautiful and I love you! I wouldn’t trade you for the world!”

“I know I know I know!” Riko said, shaking her head. “I know I shouldn’t feel jealous, but I _do_! And I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling. I hate it when other girls act so close with you and I hate it when they hug you and you hold hands and do each other’s hair and share lunch and I _know_ it’s selfish and unfair of me, and I end up hating myself because of it, and you have every right to be disappointed with me and, and…”

Riko trailed off. She was breathing heavily, because it had all just somehow come out at once, and it drained her.

“Riko-chan…”

Chika was shaken, because it never occurred to her that Riko could be feeling something so complicated. And Chika didn’t want to leave it at that. But there was just too many tangles to work through right then and there.

They’ve overcome so much, and they always did it together. But right now, it felt like there was a gulf between them, and Chika was extending her hand across the chasm, but Riko was too scared to reach out her own.   

* * *

 

The bus rolled to a stop at their usual drop off point, and Chika and Riko stepped off. Riko immediately started to walk down the path that led home, but Chika grabbed her hand and stopped her.

“Wait.” Riko turned to look at Chika, and it was a mistake, because her eyes were shining, set with determination.

It was the kind of resolve Chika had, that allowed her to break down any wall and overcome any obstacle. Sometimes, those walls were of Riko’s own making, and Chika had broken down those too. And she was going to do it again.

“Let’s go down to the beach,” Chika said, and squeezed her hand.

It’s become something of a tradition for them now, to go down to the beach when they needed to be open with each other. It was a promise between them, that whenever they were there, they could say what they wanted to say without judgement. And it was a silent understanding, that they would both try to work through whatever problem was brought up.

Having a familiar place set aside specifically for talks was reassuring, and so Riko nodded weakly, letting herself be tugged along.

“Let’s sit,” Chika said, when they set foot on the sand.

They sat.

“Riko-chan, talk to me. I…I want to try and help.”

Riko looked out into the expanse of sea stretching out into the horizon, the sound of the waves numbing her. She hadn’t felt so lost since…before Aqours. Where should she even start?

“Start at the beginning,” Chika said, as though she was answering the question in Riko’s head. The momentary connection was all Riko needed.

“You know when we first transferred to the new school? And we found out we weren’t in the same class?”

Chika nodded.

“I think…even back then, I was a little anxious. It was the new environment, new people. I was nervous about having to make friends again. But I was also nervous about…us.”

Chika stared at Riko in faint surprise. It went that far back?

“Knowing you were going to be surrounded by all sorts of new people, and knowing you, that you’d befriend all of them…I was nervous about us drifting apart. You did everything to prevent that though, and I’m grateful. But then…”

“Then, the confession?”

Riko hung her head. “After seeing that girl confess to you…I got so scared, about you one day leaving me for someone else, or someone taking you from me. I didn’t want to feel like that ever again, that scared. So then…something really ugly just welled up inside of me. Just to prevent that, I didn’t want anyone else getting close you to ever again.”

“Riko-chan…”

Riko suddenly flung herself against Chika, burying her face into her chest, clinging to Chika as though she’d fade away. “I just…I just want to be closer and closer to you, Chika-chan. I want to be the closest person to you.”

“You are though,” Chika said, hugging her back, trying to reassure her. “You’re my best friend, and my girlfriend.” Riko bunched her hands in the back of Chika’s school uniform.

“I’m not your only best friend. There’s Aqours.”

“But you’re my _best_ best friend.”

“What about You-chan and Kanan-chan? They’ve known you since childhood.” Riko slumped into sadness again. “They know you better than anyone. They know things about you that I don’t.”

Chika’s heart raced. On one hand she didn’t want Riko to feel like she was in any competition with her childhood friends for her attention. But she was so close to breaking through, she could tell.

“Well then, we just have to do something that I’ve never done with Kanan-chan and You-chan, right?”

Riko lifted her head. “Like what?”

Chika leaned in and kissed Riko.

When Chika pulled away, Riko exploded into a fit of blushes and stutters. “Wh-! I…! I keep telling you not to do these things without warning!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Chika laughed. She licked her lips. “Well? Do you feel closer?”

“Well…”

“I’ve only ever done that with you. You were my first, and you’re still the only one I've kissed.”

Riko’s blush turned a shade deeper.

“Kanan-chan and You-chan are special, yeah. But I have an even more special relationship with you, because you’re the only one I _love_. And even if we don’t know things about each other yet, we can learn more as time goes on, because…I want us to be together forever. I want to be all of your firsts. You’re the only one I feel that way towards.”

Riko looked down. A small, shy smile played at the corner of her mouth, and Chika felt her heart soar. It was Riko’s first smile of the afternoon.

But there was still a tremor of unease on her lips, and her faraway eyes that searched for more. And then Chika realized. A kiss, something that they’ve done _before_ , but still allowed Riko to feel jealousy, wasn’t going to completely get rid of Riko’s fears. 

“Riko-chan,” she said, and Riko met her eyes questioningly. “Is there something else you want to do? To feel closer?”

“I don’t know…”

Chika tried to think hard. _Something I don’t do with Kanan-chan, and You-chan._ She tried to think about their childhood, all the things they’ve done together. _Kanan-chan. You-chan_. And suddenly, after repeating their names over and over in her head, it hit her.

“Riko-chan, I got it!” Chika said.

And Riko blinked, confused, waiting. Chika’s heartbeat thrummed in her chest. She wasn’t sure how it was going to feel herself, so she steeled her heart, took a breath, swallowed…

“R-Riko…”

Riko sucked in a sharp breath, her breath seeming to have been knocked out of her. “Wh-what did you…say…?”

“Riko!”

Riko shivered, and her ears tingled. Not _Riko-san_ , or even _Riko-chan_. Just… _Riko_. Just her.

It felt bare, like an undressing, being exposed in front of somebody. And, it felt new, and fresh, like they were greeting each other for the first time again. And it felt private, something between just the two of them. And most of all, because of all of that, it felt intimate. It felt close.

And then she realized Chika was blushing.

“C-come on, you say it too!”

Riko gulped. “Ch…Chika…” And again, that feeling hit her, of rawness.

“Riko,” Chika said again.

“Chika,” Riko echoed.

“How does it feel?”

“It feels…weird.”

“Riko!" Chika giggled, in some ways trying to laugh off her own embarrassment. "Riko Riko Riko!”

“Stop, don’t wear it out!” Riko exclaimed, her face red anew.

Chika laughed and hugged her close again. Now they had something else that only the two of them shared.

“Do you feel closer now?”

“Yes,” Riko answered, and she could feel tears welling up in her eyes. She blinked them away, and they evaporated into the ocean breeze, carrying her worries away with them. “I can’t promise I won’t ever feel jealous again though…”

“That’s ok,” Chika’s voice murmured next to her, in her ear. “I’ll be right there to remind you, that you’ll always be the closest one to me. I’m not going anywhere.”

Riko snuggled closer, her heart threatening to burst. Sometimes it was unbelievable to her how wonderful a girlfriend Chika was. They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms, and with Chika’s breath next to her ear, and Chika’s warmth across her body, and Chika’s heartbeat against her chest, she really did believe they were the two closest beings on earth.

**Author's Note:**

> I combined the prompts again, ahaha. And I know ChikaRiko week is well past, but ChikaRiko week lasts forever in my heart!  
> I've always wanted to write a "firsts" story about ckrk dropping their honorifics. I had a draft of this when CkRk week was going on, but couldn't find inspiration to finish it until now. I dedicate this to @FleetingUmicorn on twitter, for her birthday, which gave me the drive to finish this!  
> To Umicorn, Happy Birthday!!!! It's a bit angsty, but I hope the ending softened it! ^^


End file.
